Long post alert. My family doesn’t want to listen to me to vent and I hope you guys here will understand. The long and the short of it is my stepdaughter is 5 years old. However, she acts like she’s 3 years younger. I suspect she has developmental problems, but everyone has their heads buried in the sand and won’t get her tested.
My biological younger daughter is only a few months older than my “step-dogter” but the mental age difference is striking. The stepdogter is constantly whining. She’s totally disrespectful to me, especially when her father is not in the room or isn’t home, and it’s gotten to the point where I can’t bear to be around her. We have her on weekends.
I feel bad, and at the same time, I just don’t care anymore. Before anyone asks, no, my stepdogter doesn’t act this way because I broke up her parents’ marriage. They were divorced up a year before I came into the picture when she was an infant, so she has no memory of her parents ever being together. Anyway, she’s just so whiny, and she’ll cry to the point of making herself throw up just to get attention.
She just last week told me that she hates me. Well, at this point, whatever, because I haven’t been able to stand her for a while now. At first, I just blamed it on “the terrible two’s,” but then it was the terrible threes and the terrible fours and she acts the same now as she did when she was 2. Yet she has a bit more vocabulary for the insults now. And everyone tells me she is just 5. Well so was my son until he turned 6 nearly 3 months ago. And you know they say girls are supposed to be more mature than boys. Yeah right.
Anyone out there that understands? Does anyone feel like they would be happy if they never saw their stepkid again? I know that sounds terrible. But we can’t help the way we feel either. It makes weekends awful for my kids as well when she is here and I almost wish her mother had full custody. But she’s my husband’s only child.
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Hi there, Ashlee!
First of all... woof! This sounds like a doozy.
You're supposed to enjoy your weekends and downtime with your family. Not dread it!
All I can say is that you have to just take it for what it is. Do your best to just focus on what you have going on and your family that appreciates you. And take everything that your stepdaughter has to say about you with a grain of salt and move forward. If she's looking for attention and is making herself physically sick then you are probably just going to have to let her do it. She has to learn that those actions won't guarantee more attention and affection. Once she finally calms down, then try to do something that she enjoys doing. But when she does it again, then let her have her fit.
It may take some time, but after a while her fits will get shorter and she will understand that she can't behave that way just because she wants attention.