I have been thinking about the concept of chemistry in my relationships. It occurred to me that it’s much easier for me to think of chemistry in terms of playground dynamics than romantic chemistry between my husband and I.

You see, I know chemistry between kids the moment I see it: giggles, secrets, similar taste in cartoons, nearly identical concepts of spatial awareness (or lack thereof). This is otherwise known as play date bliss.

But what kind of chemistry does your husband and yourself have? I’m sad to report that I Googled “Romantic Chemistry.” There was plenty of content directed toward people in the early stages of a relationship which is great, but I’m married. I’ve been married for over six years. We have been together for almost 10 years. Taking that into consideration, the most helpful article I found was titled “10 Signs There’s Serious Chemistry Between You and Your Partner.” Now, I’m not going to get into all 10 signs. I’ll be exploring those that I found to be most relevant to us as parents.

1. Plenty of smiling. Okay, this is a good start. We smile at each other. The other day he smiled at me when he thanked me for taking a shower and shaving my legs. That counts.
2. Sexual attraction. To me, sexual attraction equates to intimacy and my first thought is that we are not killing it in the intimacy department. This isn’t to say we aren’t sexually attracted to each other, it’s just that our kids know precisely when to cut a molar or develop an irrational fear of their bottom dresser drawer. Nevertheless, I’ve decided that because the molar cutting and draweraphobia are in fact interrupting something, this also counts as a win.
3. Same sense of humor. Now this is where we thrive. One thing we do more than smile or attempt to demonstrate sexual attraction is laugh. We both know how insanely funny it is when our friends tell us how their future kids will eat whatever dinner is placed before them. Then there was that time I got tipsy and suggested we plan a European vacation. Oh how we laughed.
4. Eagerness. In the article, “eagerness” is explained to be “missing the individual’s presence while anxiously awaiting the next opportunity to see them again.” Absolutely nailing this one. On rare days that I go see my girlfriends for brunch, my husband cannot wait for me to get home and tell him where he might find the peanut butter. I too am often anxiously waiting for my husband to finish work so he can take over and I can car cry on my way to the frozen yogurt shop.

What I am able to surmise through my brief delve into the concept of romantic chemistry is this: romantic chemistry between couples, who are also parents, is probably there. It’s just a little harder to find, like my personal hygiene and the peanut butter. Cheers, friends.