6 min read

As children spend more time online, especially because of the global pandemic, they are possibly being exposed to pornographic images. Your child may be at risk when clicking on an ad for a toy they see on the screen when they’re doing their classwork.

It’s not easy to teach your children about the harmful effects pornography can have. Research from a few years ago revealed that 6% of children who are of school-age seek out pornography, making this a conversation you must have.

If your child is old enough to use a smartphone, a tablet, or the internet, then you’ll want to be ready to have this talk. It can be helpful having a guide to direct your conversation and put you on your child’s level of thinking.

How is my child exposed to pornography?

Years ago, it used to be you had to go into a store and purchase printed material in order to have access to pornography. Today, pornography inhabits TV, movies, streaming services, and the internet.

A study from two decades ago found that 90% of young males and 70% of females had viewed sexually explicit content at least once. Among the children surveyed, 74% watched pornography online, 41% saw it in a video or DVD, and over half found such content on a TV channel. As entertainment mediums increased over the years, so did a child’s easy access to pornography.

Where do I start?

How do you have a conversation with your children about the dangers of viewing pornography, and how can it negatively affect their lives?

I would like to offer a review of Kristen A. Jenson’s Good pictures bad pictures: Porn-proofing today’s young kids. It is possible to start porn-proofing today’s young kids, and this book is an excellent tool for parents. Designed to be used for ages 3-6 and presented as a conversation between a young son and his mom and dad, it offers a very gentle way to approach a sensitive topic.

This 40-page book is packed with valuable information. It can be read in a short amount of time, and I’d suggest you read through it completely before you read it with your child. Knowing some of the questions Jenson will have you ask your child will give you time to think through your own answers.

Read this first

Jenson has 2 great parts to her book at the beginning and end. She starts with guiding parents on how to approach talking with their children about pornography. She offers tips on making the interaction personal and open to questions.

The author finishes the book with tips for parents and caregivers. This section provides practical advice and actionable steps parents can take to protect their children from being exposed to pornography. Jenson also helps parents understand that talking earlier rather than later will help make it more comfortable to continue these conversations with your children as they get older.

Define pornography and addiction for a child

Chapter 1 defines pornography as “bad pictures,” or pictures of someone with little to no clothes on or of private body parts. Jenson helps distinguish between what a child may see in a science book and what they see in a bad picture.

The author then speaks about chemical reactions that happen in a person’s brain when they see pornography. She does this in a way that a very young child will understand, using believable dialogue between the son and his mom to help make it clear and direct.

This chapter addresses the 3 ways in which pornography hurts, namely:

It shows that a person’s body is just an object, not part of a person to be valued.
It shows men enjoying mistreating women.
It can become a bad habit, leading to an addiction.

Jenson ends each chapter with a Let’s Talk! section, which summarizes the contents. She then offers 2-3 questions for parents to ask their children and talk about what they read together.

Chapter 2 defines addiction in very easy-to-understand terms for a child. The mom in the conversation explains how addictions hurt, not just the person with the addiction but also the ones who care about that person.

How a child’s brain thinks and feels

Chapters 3 and 4 talk to children about their feeling brain and their thinking brain. Jenson explains the differences between them and how both are needed for body functions. She talks about the feeling part of the brain not knowing right from wrong, but the thinking part of the brain can learn this.

The author emphasizes that a child can practice self-control over their brain in what they choose to look at. Each time they make a good choice, their thinking brain is training their feeling brain’s reward system to seek out good things, making their brain stronger.

In Chapter 5, Jenson continues to talk in the voice of the mom, saying how the 2 parts of the brain working together will help keep her son safe from harm.

The attraction and tricks of pornography

Chapters 6 and 7 are more complex as they deal with the science of the brain, but they still do it through a relaxed dialogue. The mom explains that the attraction part of the brain is important for love and relationships. She says that pornography lies to people, making them think others are just objects to be looked at instead of real people to be loved.

Jenson brings up one of the hardest questions a parent may be asked: “How can it hurt to watch people who are just acting?”

The mom answers her son by telling him that the attraction part of the brain is unable to tell the difference between a picture and a real person. This makes the attraction real to the brain and can lead to a person having an addiction that spirals out of control.

Much like drug addiction, pornography tells the brain to release the “feel good” chemicals, prompting it to want more and more of that chemical. The author breaks this down into such an easy-flowing conversation between the mom and son that I almost forgot I was reading scientific facts.

Your child CAN DO it!

The last 2 chapters of Good Pictures, Bad Pictures are incredible. Jenson offers a practical way for parents to help in porn-proofing today’s young kids. Using the letters in CAN DO, the author helps children fight against the drug that is pornography. I think this acronym could be used by adults who want to do the same.

Jenson teaches kids to:

Close their eyes immediately if they see a bad picture. Always tell an adult they can trust what they have seen. Name pornography when they see it.

She tells kids that they can then:

Distract themselves. Order the thinking part of their brain to be the boss.

Pornography is like a poison

I really appreciated the way Jenson brought the son’s dad into the conversation in the last chapter. Using a hands-on approach, the dad explained to his son how pornography is like rat poison. A rat is tricked by tasty bits of poison, and it’s the same way those who sell pornography act: they use the internet, TV, movies, and even road signs to trick people into looking at the bad pictures more and more.

What people don’t realize is that the more pornography you look at, the more it damages your brain, just like the poison damages the rats. He offers his son hope, though, saying he doesn’t have to be lured by the poison and can make good choices to avoid looking at the bad pictures.

Conclusion

Many children are exposed to pornography at a young age, whether by seeking it out, by accident, and by having it shown to them. This can lead to addiction and years of fighting to regain their life. I have first-hand experience with this and can tell you that Good pictures, bad pictures: Porn-proofing today’s young kids is among the best books on the subject.

Using an easy-flowing conversational approach, the author provides a valuable tool for parents to use in educating their children about the truth of pornography. She does so without scaring children or blaming them for being naturally curious. She offers parents a way to sit down and have a meaningful, honest conversation about a serious, sensitive topic.

I highly recommend this book for any parents who want to keep their children safe from the dangers of pornography.

Does your young child have access to a smartphone? How do you approach the topic of pornography and teach them about firm and healthy boundaries? Let us know in the comments below.