It was Christmas time, and we were in a busy mall. People were swarming around us, Christmas music was piping through the mall speakers, and sparkly decorations and twinkling lights abounded. In the center court, Santa and his elves were surrounded by brightly decorated trees as they listened to the wishes of excited children.

For us, this chaotic overstimulation led to an epic meltdown. My kids were so excited to meet Santa, and I was so looking forward to sharing in their excitement that I didn’t give any thought to the busyness and sensory inputs all around us.

Holidays are usually a time for fun and festivity, a time for families to gather and share meals and memories. During the holiday season, routine and familiarity are often set aside as we connect with our loved ones.

For many families, though, the additional sensory stimulation that the holidays bring can be a challenge. For children (and adults) with sensory sensitivities, the holiday season can be a distressing and difficult time, with noise, different foods, and large groups of people all being potential triggers.

What is sensory sensitivity?

Sensory sensitivity, sometimes known as sensory processing disorder (SPD), occurs when the brain has difficulty receiving and responding to external stimuli such as noise or light.

Overstimulation of the senses causes a sensory overload, which can result in extreme behaviors, such as tantrums, meltdowns, or withdrawal. If your child has sensory processing issues, it doesn’t mean they have autism, but almost all autistic children do have sensory sensitivities.

Children with ADHD, OCD, and other behavioral disorders may also have difficulty with sensory processing, and kids with no associated disorders or other diagnoses may also have sensory sensitivity.

Holiday sensory triggers

While typical children will take the sights, sounds, and smells of the holiday season in their stride, those with sensory sensitivity will process these stimuli differently. This can trigger a “flight, fright, or freeze” response. We have 5 sensory systems that can be overwhelmed or overstimulated: visual, auditory, taste, tactile, and vestibular.

Here are some examples of how common holiday activities can act as sensory triggers:

• Visual: Flashing lights on trees and in displays, light show projections, sparkly tinsel and decorations, and brightly colored wrappings can be disorienting to a visually sensitive child.
• Auditory: Excited peers, noisy malls, lots of people talking over each other in enclosed spaces, and loud music can all trigger kids with auditory sensitivity. Parties, excited classmates gathering in the classroom or playground, and busy malls or entertainment venues can be distressing for a child who is easily overwhelmed.
• Taste: Holiday meals often involve special foods that may not be eaten at other times during the year. Kids with sensory sensitivities may be picky eaters who prefer a familiar range of foods or food textures. Smells also form a part of this type of stimulus. Holiday foods have a scent of their own, and your aunt may get a bit carried away when applying her holiday perfume. Kids who are triggered by strong or overpowering smells might find a holiday meal too much.
• Tactile: Kids who have tactile sensitivities might struggle to wear clothes designed for events and photographs.
• Vestibular: The vestibular system affects our movement and our proprioception, that is, where our body is in space. Kids use movement to regulate their attention and behavior. Long periods indoors and having to sit at the dinner table can lead to irritability, misbehavior, and meltdowns.

4 tips for managing sensory overload at holiday gatherings

Many factors will be beyond your control during the holidays, so you should focus on the things you can control.

Educating your family members about sensory sensitivities and preparing them for potential meltdowns can go a long way towards easing your own anxiety around the festive season. More importantly, by being proactive and equipping your sensitive child with coping mechanisms to deal with sensory overwhelm, you can pave the way for a sensory-friendly holiday.

1. Routine is important

Where possible, try to keep mealtimes and bedtimes as normal as usual. When there are disruptions to the routine, you can keep your child calm by providing a quiet and secure space where they can go to decompress.

A loved toy or fidget, soft music, and some comfortable blankets and cushions can provide a safe haven for an overstimulated child.

2. Open conversation with others

Not everyone will be understanding about your child’s sensory sensitivities, and some family members might believe you are just allowing “bad” behavior. Make sure that the people you’ll be spending your holidays with know that your child is easily over-stimulated.

Describe what a meltdown or shutdown (withdrawal) might look like and explain what mechanisms you have put in place if this happens, for example, allowing your child to leave the table, wear their headphones, or go outdoors to play. You can even request gifts for your child that provide the positive stimulation they need to remain calm.

3. Know your child’s triggers

When you understand what triggers your child, you can be better equipped to limit or change their environment.

4. Advance preparation

Knowing what to expect can help a child prepare for events or activities that may otherwise cause anxiety and distress. You can talk to your kids about what will happen over the holidays and help them prepare by creating a holiday calendar.

Sensory toolkit for the holiday season

Depending on what stimuli trigger your child, this holiday guide for sensory kids will help you create a toolkit to cope better.

Visual

For visually sensitive children, caps or hats and sunglasses can reduce visual stimuli. For long periods of sitting still, activities requiring focus will help to hold their attention.

Auditory

Children who are distressed by loud or ongoing noise might find noise-canceling headphones or earplugs helpful. Letting your child compile a playlist of their favorite music to listen to can also be calming.

Taste

If your child is a picky eater or prefers certain food types or textures, you might want to take pre-packed meals with you if you go out. Explain to your host ahead of time that you’re doing this to prevent an issue.

Tactile

Holidays aren’t the best time for a child with tactile sensitivities to try out new outfits or fabrics. Where possible, allow your child to choose their own outfit or have a comfortable set of clothing on standby.

Tactile sensitive kids may also become overwhelmed by people bumping into them or by hugs from loving relatives. Allow your child the opportunity to take breaks from busy environments and let them choose whether or not to accept hugs from family members.

Vestibular

One of the key factors in managing vestibular sensitivity is providing kids with plenty of opportunities to get feedback from their environment.

A fidget or favorite toy can provide feedback, as can this TheraBand progressive resistance band on their chair. Letting your child push the shopping cart, help with preparations, and have breaks for running around between courses can all help them remain calm and engaged in the festivities.

Having a quiet space and a weighted blanket for when things get a bit much can also avert a crisis. More on this here.

For kids with sensory sensitivity, a “sensory diet” can be created by an occupational therapist to help your child build self-awareness. These activities are tailored to your child’s specific sensory needs. Activities assist your kid with remaining in the “right” zone for calm, engaged interactions with others and with their environment. If your child has a sensory diet, you should try to continue with it throughout the holidays.

Conclusion

The holidays can come with many additional stressors, especially for families with neurodiverse kids. You should remember that it’s important to do what is right for your family, even if it means creating new traditions to accommodate all family members. By knowing your child, you can take action and make decisions that are in your whole family’s best interests to ensure that everyone has a happy holiday season.