Let’s face it; parents are not perfect. In our quest to be competent parents, we are bound to err from time to time. Even the most insightful ones still make mistakes when it comes to raising their kids. Mistakes are inevitable.
There are instances when you wish you’d done something differently. Remember how you’d let your teen get away with some behaviors, and that only bred more of the same? Or how you tried to live vicariously through your first kid, not allowing them to explore different interests and discover what they liked to do? How did that go?
Whatever cringe-worthy error you’ve made, remember that the rest of us have likely done the same thing repeatedly, so don’t be too hard on yourself. Besides, we also get it right sometimes.
While there’s no ultimate handbook on parenting, there are certain things you should work to avoid. Some of the worst parenting mistakes impact our kids more deeply than others, so it’s worth learning how to correct our behavior as soon as possible.
Genes2Teens asked some mommy bloggers: Can you share parenting mistakes you have made that others should avoid?
I think my biggest mistake was turning into a police officer rather than a teacher. My parenting was guided by fear instead of anticipation of how amazing they COULD be. By allowing them to learn more independently with me just as a guide, we’re both happier, and they learn good lessons on their own.Hilary Erickson-Pulling Curls
I was SO patient…before I had kids. I wish I had realized from the beginning how much my children will model their behavior after what I do. I find myself often calling them out for behavior that I realize, in hindsight, they’ve learned from me. It’s so much easier to teach proper responses and how to stay calm from the beginning, rather than try to correct a learned (wrong) behavior later on.Justine Young-Little Dove
The parenting mistakes I have made are coddling my sons too much. I am a natural giver, and I am naturally nurturing, therefore I do too much for my sons. I noticed that my doing so many things for them has started to make them lazy and lacking in critical thinking skills. When your kids run into an issue in life, let them try to figure it out first before taking over and doing it for them.
Also, let your kids experience life and consequences. If they don’t follow through on what you told them, then they will suffer the consequences. For example, we have our kids brush their teeth after breakfast before school. We give them 2 reminders if they forget and don’t brush. Other people will tell them they have bad breath, then they will listen to you next time.
As moms, we have to stop and realize our sons will be husbands one day, and they need to know how to take care of their household. They need to know manners, how to pump gas, how to wash clothes, cook, clean, take out the trash, etc.Zuri-Starr Turner-Johnson-Two Moms, Many Kids and More
One parenting mistake we’ve now learned from is creating and sticking with bedtime routines. In order for our home to function at its best, everyone needs to sleep.
Recently, our toddler was waking up several times through the night, and while I thought I was helping him go back to sleep by tickling his back so his sisters (ages 6 and 8) could sleep, I was a zombie the next day.
We had a special book made just for him with expectations of his bedtime routine (bath, brush teeth, read, then stay in bed till his clock was green, etc.), and after 3 nights of me not going in there, he learned to self-soothe with a teddy bear. Kids thrive on routine, and now we always implement it unless we travel, of course.Brie Mazin-Florida Yoga Mama
One parenting mistake that is easy to make is to do too much for your children. It is important to let them learn to do things for themselves. This can encompass everything, from letting them tie their own shoes even though it takes longer to making them clean their own rooms.
Sometimes it is hard to know when to make that switch from doing things for them to showing them how to do it themselves. Generally, as soon as they can do it themselves, they should be allowed to take over that responsibility, which will give them more independence and you more freedom.Scarlet Paolicchi-Family Focus Blog
There’s a lot to learn, and through experience, we get to bring up our children well. We should find positive ways to make them strong, healthy, and ready for adulthood.
Luckily, most parenting slip-ups can be fixed with attention and time. If you happen to make mistakes, it’s never too late to correct them. You can turn them into valuable lessons and avoid repeating them.