Do you monitor the music your kids listen to?

I love listening to music myself, and I guess my older kids managed to adapt the type of songs we usually listen to at home. We listen to jazz, RnB, and love songs and I think my kids also enjoy listening to them. So we do not have to worry about the music they listen to.

But, that does not mean that we can be complacent. Technology today gives much influence on children whether to what they watch, play or listen to. We only know what our children are up to when they are with us, but we are totally clueless when they are out of our sight, right? So it is still best to monitor them so we know what they do, and they know that we are still monitoring them.

What we normally do is ask them how their day was. We keep it conversational so they would not hesitate to open up if they are curious about something, or if they have done something unexpected. It is difficult to raise children, that is a fact. But, we have to let them be aware that we are just on stand-by and we won't tolerate bad behaviors.

I feel like music is a creative outlet. If you have an open relationship with your older kids, I think it's worth a conversation. Even if it's just asking them about certain bands or songs, or what they like about it instead of telling them not to do it. It's more of a conversation to educate yourself rather than try to tell them they are doing something wrong.

If you all share a music account (Amazon for example) I do believe you can see what they are listening to. If there is something really questionable or not appropriate, then you can approach them and have that conversation.

My husband and I enjoy a very wide range of music genres and this means that our children are exposed to lots of different kinds of music. We do try to play 'clean' versions of songs that have offensive language but our whole family enjoy classic piano music...as well as some hard rock and techno. We also really love musicals and used to laugh that all of our kids knew the words to 'Lovely Ladies' from Les Mis. Cultured or inappropriate?

Ultimately, I think it is much the same as movies. As long as you are having conversations with your kids about the meanings of the music they are listening to and helping them understand what themes are and aren't controversial, then I think it is ok. Many of the film clips are more offensive than the music itself but as with most things in life, its certainly a personal preference.

Thinking back to my own teen years, I am quite sure that some of my music choices gave my parents grey hairs - yet they patiently endured every phase I went through knowing that eventually I would start listening to something different. These days, the lyrics of many songs are more risqué with themes of a more adult nature and explicit language and I do sometimes wonder whether my parents would be as accommodating of my music choices if I were a teenager today.

I do think that music is one way in which teens explore their identity and a way in which they connect with their peers. Music can also be used as a form of rebellion, especially when your child deliberately listens to music they know you disapprove of. The effect of music on mood is well documented and so if you find your child to be very aggressive or moody on a regular basis, then it might be time to have a conversation with them to see what it is about that specific music that appeals to them. They might be using a specific genre or type of music as a way of dealing with their own feelings.

In my experience "forbidden fruit" holds added appeal, and you won't be able to censor your child's music exposure every minute of the day. It would be far wiser to talk about different kinds of music, what the artists are trying to communicate, and how much of the music industry is about posturing and creating a 'persona'. Talk about how bad language or explicit lyrics make your teen feel and discuss what your feelings are about music of this nature. You can even go on to chat about certain high profile musicians and about the type of lifestyle they live - let your teen list some musicians they think are positive and negative role-models. You might be pleasantly surprised by how well they are able to discern which role models are worth emulating.

I honestly don't know how you would censor your child's music use through headphones. However, you may have a pretty good idea about what genre of music they prefer.

I would have conversations about their music. Discussion about what they like, the words, and what kind of person the singer is off stage. If they are a bad influence or more of a criminal element, I would definitely have this discussion as it sounds like you want to raise your kids to be upstanding and kind individuals.

Most kids try out all kinds of music, and it is often not what the parents prefer. I think back on the words of the songs that I used to sing to, and they were not pretty.

If your child is growing in the right direction, I would not be too concerned about the type of music they listen to. Sometimes, it is their way of showing independence, working out their frustrations, or being part of a group discussion about music.

Being a parent of a teen is hard. I wish you both the best.