< 1 min read
I must admit that I am not the best housekeeper. I do not like to clean my house and pick up after my family. However, with 3 small kids and a husband who is a slob, I am forced to be the “neat one” in the family.
I work full-time outside of the house as does my husband. I am trying to teach my preschoolers to pick up but they are just little kids and I can’t expect too much help from them.
However, I am frustrated with my husband who does not even attempt to pick up his clothes or items that he leaves sitting out everywhere. I have told him time and time again that I need his help around the house but he just sees me as a nag.
I don’t want to be the nagging housewife but what else can I do to get through to him that his sloppiness drives me nuts and that I need his help.
Marked as spam
I can relate to this too. My husband has many characteristics of ADHD (he totally admits this) and one of the most frustrating is his leaving stuff everywhere. He will leave his coffee cup in any room of the house, will leave the mail rubbish on the bench and don't even get me started on how he deals with empty toilet rolls even though there is a bin right next to the toilet!!!
I believe that communication is key but there is also an element of accepting that noone is perfect and we all have flaws. I like to remember to make requests rather than demands and my husband seems to respond well to them. Best of luck.
As a stay-at-home dad who used to be a slob, I realized, that since I was the one at home all day, that I needed to be the one to pick up. I will echo the "everything has a home" sentiment as this does wonders for house cleanliness. My kid doesn't pick up anything he takes out and my wife leaves her stuff all over the house. What I do now is I pick up everything and I put it away if it's a family or house item. If it's an item that is specifically theirs, they get piled on their bed (or side of bed for my wife) and it's up to them to put them away from there. This goes for laundry as well. I do laundry twice a week and I fold mine and my wife's, I pile hers folded on the bed and his unfolded on his bed so he can fold it and get his allowance.
Since I'm the only one who really cares, I realized to keep the house how I want it, I make it as easy as possible for my family to put their stuff away when they have a minute. I resort to the "you can't go to sleep until it gets put away element" as an added incentive.
I sure can relate to this. To be very honest reminding someone of same thing over and over again can be very frustrating.
First thing I did was to accept the fact that I cannot parent my partner. He has been raised in a different environment and we need to gradually adapt and reach an agreement.
You can try to share work load based on interests. If your husband doesn’t like doing laundry, maybe he enjoys mowing the lawn or washing the car.
You can also try to put written reminders on appropriate places e.g. Put your shoes here, put dirty clothes in the laundry basket. This can help your husband and kids alike. I sometime have to set alarms and reminders on my husband’s phone for taking out trash or organizing his cupboard (which he often puts on snooze ).
I agree with Amanda that having a designated place for everything makes organizing things easier.
Consider donating excess things, it will help your children learn the value of Giving and will also make de-cluttering easier.
Best of luck
Oh I find this so frustrating too! I have found that having a box for shoes as we walk in the door and a hamper for dirty clothes AND clean clothes has shifted some of the clothes dropping on the floor situation. I have also found that cleaning as I go and passing things to the husband to put in its allocated spot mid-clean can sometimes lessen the messy house load at the end of the day too.
Could you implement a time that all of you could clean up together? Even if it's just for ten minutes after dinner or before bed. You'll both be setting examples for your little ones and I find that little bits of cleaning here and there make a big difference.
The basic advice I always read about keeping a tidy house is to make sure that everything has a "home". I started doing this with my kids' closet...maybe it could work for your husbands, too. I bought big bins instead of using a traditional dresser. I don't really ask that they fold or keep the bins nice, but I want them to be sure that all their clothes go IN the bins. They stack in their closet, there is a bin for separate shirts, pants, socks, etc....while it doesn't teach them how to neatly fold a shirt, they have learned that everything goes in its place. And their room is much more pleasant when everything's put away.
Good luck!! I hope they come together soon to realize that keeping a tidy house is a team effort!