Long story short: I got pregnant way too young with my boyfriend who is almost a decade older than me.
We’re not married.
He pays for everything – the house is his, the dog is his, and he pays for everything. I’m 100% dependent on him to support me and our baby and I hate it.
I hate that I can’t just leave if I want to. He’s never here anyway because he’s constantly working or doing whatever he does during the day.
I just don’t understand how you mommas make it all work out. Have you seen the price of rent these days? Of childcare? How do you make enough money to make ends meet, let alone pay to eat?
I don’t necessarily want to leave my boyfriend but I would like the option to if things ever got bad enough.
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Have you created a spreadsheet of all of your monthly expenses yet? That has helped me in the past!
I've started to put a little money aside in my savings for things that I won't register for for my baby shower, but personal details like baby-proofing the house, nesting, and extra things that I might need in the nursery. It's just the first step but I know my husband has also been putting money away for whenever we're finally ready to start having kids.
Just be sure to really stick to a budget!
Wishing you the best!
I can tell you that it took me longer than most to feel financially "safe" enough to have a child. I started by opening a separate bank account and funneling about 10% of my salary to the "baby fund" haha. I knew that I wouldn't get to have the grand baby shower that most mom-to-be's get to have since I was inseminated by a donor. So, I knew that I would be buying alllllll my own baby stuff. Once I built up enough funds to feel like I could afford all the baby stuff, then I started setting aside more for all the other things in case the baby or I had to have a longer hospital stay, or something medical-related popped up, childcare, and other misc. expenses. Overall, this probably took me about 5 years to do and it's not the "normal" way of doing it, but it's worked out pretty well for me.
My best advice is to track every single penny that you spend. Every coffee you buy, any gum you purchase because you're standing in the checkout line. It will give you an idea of where exactly your money is going. Make a hard budget and stick to it. It's the only way I was able to save up enough to calmly be able to complete insemination and feel confident that I was ready for my baby.
Hope this is helpful.