How do you financially make it all work??
< 1 min read
Long story short: I got pregnant way too young with my boyfriend who is almost a decade older than me. We’re not married. He pays for everything – the house is his, the dog is his, and he pays for everything. I’m 100% dependent on him to support me and our baby and I hate it. I hate that I can’t just leave if I want to. He’s never here anyway because he’s constantly working or doing whatever he does during the day. I just don’t understand how you mommas make it all work out. Have you seen the price of rent these days? Of childcare? How do you make enough money to make ends meet, let alone pay to eat? I don’t necessarily want to leave my boyfriend but I would like the option to if things ever got bad enough. ![]() |
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Answers (8)

I think it is very sensible of you to think about finding some security for yourself and child in case there is ever a relationship breakdown. Whilst I don't know the specific supports and agencies for where you are from, I would encourage you to seek out this information. Yes, living expenses seem to increase all the time and it makes good financial sense for you to have a plan in place in case your circumstances were to suddenly change.


Like you, we are in a one-income household. My husband does all the earning, although I have some side hustle from time to time. I understand where you are coming from and sometimes, I also feel kinda "useless:" with the set-up at the beginning but eventually, I have learned to accept it.
My husband is a big factor for me to realize that although I am not earning financially for the family, I play a very vital role in our household. I manage the household, from raising the kids, homeschooling them, doing the chores, see to it that everything is in place. He told me that those are a very huge contribution to our family. He even said that he cannot do all the things I do every day and those words gave me comfort and confidence.
I know that money is a big factor in raising a family but it is not everything. But of course, you should also initiate ensuring that we save something for the rainy days.


Security is a basic need, whether is is financial security or having a safe place to stay. For many women, the fear of not being able to support themselves financially means that they remain in relationships for the wrong reasons. No one knows what the future holds, and even if you and your boyfriend stay together, it is always wise to plan for every eventuality which would include making sure that you can support yourself and your child.
If you do not have any source of income, this might be a good time for you to look at what skills you have that you can monetise. If your boyfriend's income covers the household expenses, take the opportunity to start saving and even investing your money for the future. Having a little bit of extra disposable income will also allow you some leverage and provide you with money to buy things that you like without having to ask for money. In the future, if you never need these savings, they can be used to fund college or help your child buy their first car.
Having your own source of income is not only good for your household budget, but it will also help you feel more confident in yourself and your ability to be a provider. Remember that local community colleges often have short courses, so if you don't have the skills required to start your own business or get a job, consider signing up for a course to help you upskill. Keeping yourself busy will also help distract you when your boyfriend is away for work.
Good luck.


I think one of the first things you could do is find a virtual job you would enjoy doing, which would benefit you two-fold -- having an identity apart from your boyfriend and child, and allowing you to save for your own security. This way, you would not have to pay for childcare.
You could also consider getting a degree or certificate, if you don't already have one, while you are not having to be concerned about bills, again preparing yourself for independence.
Having a job, or going to school, doesn't mean you will separate from your boyfriend. But trust me on this, from someone who was in a marriage and almost 100% dependent on my spouse, it was hard when I suddenly became a single mom and had to work, get a degree, and keep raising my daughters in a healthy way.
Find a local woman's center who can guide you on a path of self-sufficiency. Again, not to leave the relationship, but to have a more secure future.
Best wishes to you and I hope you will keep us posted on your progress.

Have you created a spreadsheet of all of your monthly expenses yet? That has helped me in the past!
