How do you talk to your kid about Sex Education in school?

Good for you in recognizing that, even though the school system does play a part, it's still up to the parents to engage deeper with their kids in sensitive, and serious topics.

I agree with, what our family called, the "car capture." When the kids are there, they cannot escape the conversation, nor the topics which are approached. Depending on your son's age, if you could discover a "hypothetical" persona to talk about, he may be more apt to open up. Instead of feeling like the questions are directed entirely towards him, he might be comfortable talking about a non-entity.

There may even be a video or two, completely geared towards his age, that he may be willing to watch, albeit possibly not with you. But, as the parent, I think you have the right to tell him he needs to watch the video and then you need to talk about it together. It's one of the hardest subjects to talk about, but in the long run, I think he will be grateful that you were willing to keep pushing the issue and make sure he has the right information from the beginning.

In our current world, having conversations that empower our children and inform them about their own bodies and their personal rights are important. Whether we are comfortable admitting it or not, our kids probably know a whole lot more than we think they do, and there is a good chance that a lot of what they know is inaccurate as they have gotten this information from their peers or from older kids at school.

Most kids are very self-conscious about the physical changes that puberty brings and many kids (and adults) feel that topics relating to sex, sexuality, and development are embarrassing or even shameful and should not be openly discussed.

There are a number of really great, age-appropriate books that can be given to kids as young as 9 to explain the basics relating to puberty and sex. While these are excellent resources, it is always better if they are accompanied by a conversation - either ahead of time, or once they've had a chance to look through the book. While books can provide all the facts, it is parents and other caregivers that know a child well enough to be able to put these important topics into perspective. You can also use examples of scenes from TV series or Movies to ask questions, or raise important topics.

As a single mom, I often initiated the really awkward conversations in the car, when my son did not have to make eye contact and where he could "escape" to his room once our chat was done. With both my kids I also made an effort to have small conversations about one topic eg. body hair, hormones, relationships, consent etc. at a time rather than overwhelming them with a long lecture or too many facts.

I agree with you, Jason, that it is important to talk about growth and development information with your child. Having taught this subject as a school nurse for many years, I have observed that boys are not emotionally ready as early as girls to tackle this subject. But it truly depends on the child. Some are not at all embarrassed about this sensitive yet important topic, while others have very similar reactions to your son's response.

My daughters were polar opposites when it came to having "the talk". My oldest was ready and willing to discuss sex ed and was excited to participate in the conversation. My other daughter did not want to engage in the topic, so I gave her a book to read. Later, I sat down with her in several short time periods to go over the subject matter and answer her questions (there were none). For her, I had to use life's opportune moments to teach her about the subject, to some extent.

Both ways worked out fine. Maybe you can try the second approach and see if that works out for you two. Good luck!