How much should a husband help with newborn duties if he goes for work and you don’t?

A little back story, I’m 21 and I got pregnant shortly after my husband and me met. Right from birth, my 30-year-old husband was no help. He had the whole week off from work, but I was the only one taking care of her, day and night. (Side note: he even took the pain meds I was discharged with because he had a “backache”).

Our son is almost 3 months old now. He has had many stomach problems due to undiagnosed CMPA (cow milk protein allergy), so saying she had some loooong nights of screaming inconsolably for hours would be an understatement.

I have our daughter all day and all night still. My husband works from 4 pm to 12:30 am, but he won’t do night feedings. He sleeps for over 10 hours a day. You would think that after a night of baby screaming for over 7 hours, that he’d take care of her during the day so I can have a few minutes to myself.

He gets agitated whenever I ask him to do something, even just hold her so I can go pee. I’ve begged him to help out more and let me get a break every couple of days for just an hour, he says he will, but he never actually does it. He even pulls the “I work to support you” card like I do nothing all day long. On a good day, he might spend 15 minutes with her all day, but when he’s around his family, he acts like he’s Superdaddy. Apart from washing bottles every other day and acting like I should worship him for it, that’s about it.

This isn’t fair to our daughter for him to be this way, and I don’t feel like it’s fair to me either. My mom keeps her 1 day a week so that I can eat, shower, sleep and clean up. Am I expecting too much from him? Any ideas on how to get him to be more active in her life?