I want to see my grandkids

What tough situation your friend is in. Sadly when adult relationships are poor, it is usually the kids (or grandkids) who get a raw deal. As I do not know the reasons for the poor relationship between your friend and her son, it is very difficult for me to offer advice in that regard. What I can perhaps suggest is that she engage the services of a mediator (this can either be a professional, or another neutral third party who can try and help your friend and her son reach a compromise about her access to the kids. Her son may be willing to let the kids have supervised visits or the opportunity to meet in public spaces such as parks where the conflicted adults are not required to interact with one another.
If your friend and her son can trace their issues back to a specific time or issue, this might be a good time for them to seek counselling individually or separately so that they can heal from the past and work towards a reconciled future. This will only be successful if both parties are willing to work towards forgiveness for past hurts.
As parents of adult children, it is sometimes necessary to acknowledge that they may make choices that are hurtful and out of our control. While she reaches out to find a solution with her son, advise your friend to seek the support of other estranged grandparents who will be able to relate to her experience.

Such a difficult situation. While I’m sure your friend is a lovely person, unfortunately we don’t always see both sides of what is happening and her son may in fact be harbouring hurt or anxiety that she is not aware of or does not understand.
I think it’s a great idea for your friend to take a step down and relay to her son that she validates his concerns and asks what he needs for her to link with her grandkids. Even if the negotiation is small to start with such as writing a short card to her grandkids or seeing them only at special events until her son feels comfortable with her being there.
Wishing her all the best.

This is a very tricky situation. Unless your friend works on their relationship with their son first it is unlikely that anything will change. There is probably many factors at play here as relationships are complex. He might believe that he is doing the best thing for his children by limiting her access to his children. Perhaps your friend could write a letter to him and ask him what things she can work on to help improve their relationship. It is best to leave blame out of it and focus on self rather than the other person. If her son feels attacked it will likely make the situation worse. Instead, focus on seeking first to understand his perspective, validate his feelings and then work on any identified issues. I hope this helps.

I guess I am in the same situation as your friend. Our only difference is, that I have a very complicated relationship with my father. Although he is very good to my kids, I still feel that it is not necessary for him to see my children because of what happened in the past. I feel bad about it too but, I just can't move on just yet.

I understand that grandparents want to show affection to their grandkids but, first things first. The relationship between the mother (your friend) and her son should be the main focus because when there is no reconciliation, I doubt if the son will be graceful enough to let the kids visit their grandmother or vice versa.

You will probably think of me as someone cold or perhaps, someone ungrateful to my dad, we cannot simply let our past be left behind. Feelings were hurt, relationships broken and it is very difficult to rebuild the connection. But, I am hopeful that someday, everything will be okay. For now, I am allowing my kids to see my dad during his birthday and Christmas. I think that is what I can do for now.

Hoping for the best for your friend.