< 1 min read
Baby showers are traditionally hosted by the friends or family of the parent-to-be and are one of the most fun ways to have an event. Typical baby shower etiquette says that you shouldn’t host your own party since doing so might be perceived as asking for gifts.
But what if you don’t have that many friends in your area or you have an estranged or long-distance family hence the possibility of not having the party at all? Nowadays I see more and more expecting parents hosting their own showers complete with a registry or cash donation.
What are your thoughts on that? Is it still frowned upon yet people host their own wedding, birthday, or even gender reveals which are also a “gift grab” come to think of it?
Marked as spam
Interesting question! I think I would have thrown my own baby shower if my friends weren't willing to support. For some people it might feel like an onerous task and if family/friends don't enjoy or feel confident in running events like a shower, it can be a tricky situation to ask of them. For me, it was a one time celebration of new life and wanting friends and family to enjoy with me, regardless of gift bringing!
I think that a baby shower is about celebrating the coming birth of a child and I am always keen for celebrations. Perhaps you could get a friend or family member to help you plan it so its not all on you but if you want a baby shower then you should definitely have one somehow.
Personally, I have never seen this situation. Since it is not common in my circle of people, I think it would be considered tacky.
It may be more acceptable if the new mom asks a friend to host the shower if nobody steps up. The mom-to-be can even volunteer to help with the planning, invitations, decorations, and food since it is an unusual request that requires a lot of work. Then make the shower as simple as possible to minimize the burden for this friend.
If friends and family live far away and want to host a virtual shower from afar, that is another acceptable idea that has become more popular in the last few years.
I didn't know that it was ever tacky to throw a baby shower for yourself, so this is a very interesting question to consider!
I think the saying, "It takes a village to raise a child," should be considered more than whether something is socially a faux pas. Especially if the baby may be an unexpected blessing, or the mom is single and on her own, we all need help to provide our kids with their basic needs.
Maybe it would be less "tacky" if a baby shower were to ask for the smaller, basic needs, like a diaper dash with a fun game instead of a shower. Even just providing bottles, onesies, or other smaller items might seem less like a tacky effort?
Another thought, why do we still expect our parents, siblings, or friends to take care of those events which are part of "our" choice in life. Putting that expense on others, is that fair?