No one told me that the toddler stage is immensely harder than the baby stage…

Toddlers certainly can be a handful - especially when you also have a newborn to take care of. I think that each stage of child development has its own challenges, and so I wouldn't say that the toddler stage is harder than the infant stage, but it definitely a time when mobility and curiosity can combine to create chaos.

For me, the best thing I did when I had a toddler and a newborn was to have a very structured daily routine. Although things did not always go according to plan, I found that my toddler was much calmer when they knew what to expect in the day. The toughest days were always those days when something unexpected happened. As a mom who was exhausted, it was often difficult to remember that my toddler's outward expressions of big feelings were not bad behavior, but rather because at her age, she was unable to regulate her emotions or verbalise her needs clearly.

I found "moms and tots" groups very supportive during this time as I could spend time with other mom's also in this life stage. I also made sure to set some time aside each day to spend exclusively with my toddler (even if it was just story time before bed) to remind her that she was just as special and important as the new baby.

hang in there Mumma. This stage of life can be very overwhelming at times but you are doing a wonderful job. Go easy on yourself and know that 'this too shall pass'.

This sounds like me 5 years ago! You aren't alone, not in the slightest bit. I didn't find my group of mom friends to vent to until my 2nd was born and it was life-changing. I wish I could say it gets easier, but as they grow it brings new challenges. I'm always wondering "is my kid the only one who's like that?" and the answer is almost always no! My peers assure me that I'm not alone, my child is not alone, and we're all going through this together. Even if it's an online community like this one, never hesitate to reach out to vent!

I miss the days when my breasts solved every problem.

I completely agree.  I didn't find good toddler resources until my oldest was 2.5 years old, after exhausting a slew of other options that didn't pan out, all of which I had to read during naptimes or after bedtime because my toddler was chaotic. The majority of the baby preparation was done ahead of time, and the answers to questions that did arise were simpler and easier to find, rather than more abstract approaches to behavioral issues. (For anyone interested, one of the good sources I came across was Janet Lansbury.) Her book "No Bad Kids," as well as her blog/podcasts)

Having said that, I'm not a baby person. I love the one nap per day toddler schedule because it makes the day so much more manageable. I love that toddlers can walk and don't always need to be carried. I enjoy seeing them grasp more and more language and begin to attempt words. I like how they eat on a semi-regular basis and don't need breast/bottle feedings. I'll take the temper tantrums in exchange for the way of life.