Unwanted adult sibling input about our kids
|
< 1 min read
My adult brother and I have very different styles for raising our kids. My brother is very vocal about how we discipline our children and their behavior and tells us in no uncertain terms that our kids are unruly and disrespectful. His children are no angels, but we keep our opinions to ourselves. I find it very hurtful how they talk about our kids. His words drive a wedge into our relationship and make us not want to visit or have our children around them. How should we handle this situation before it permanently affects our family? I want to have a loving family connection with them, but their attitude makes it difficult!     
 Marked as spam
|
♥ 0 |
Answers (2)
Best answer chosen by asker
Have you had a conversation with your brother about how his behavior affects the relationship you two have? Not a yelling match, but a calm and rational conversation? If that has already happened and he's not going to change, then you should evaluate, more than your relationship, the impact that negative comments like his are having on your family.
I would probably tell him I fin his words hurtful and it affects me negatively and it is best we either avoid the topic altogether, or take a break from the relationship itself. By continuing to allow your kids to be around your brother, you're letting him know that he can continue to behave the way he does.
Marked as spam
Best answer chosen by asker
I hope you can see there are two sides to this, and you cannot be completely responsible for how this situation is handled. If your brother is so adamant about his ways of child rearing being the only and right way, there will literally be nothing you can do to alter his views.
So you focus on what you are already doing--raising your children the best that you can. If it cones down to a confrontation with your brother, really the only thing you can say, which may not even appease him, is that you understand he disagrees with you, but you are parenting using your best judgment and would appreciate his support of that.
Having been in similar situations with other family members, I can empathize and hope you can find ways to be amicable. It may be that there will be distance you have to maintain in order to at least not harm the relationship, at least for a while.
You keep doing your best and focus on loving your kids.
Marked as spam
