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I just wanted to get your feedback on the ideal age gap between your first and second child. I am 40 and my son is turning 9 this year. My husband and I are considering maybe having a second child. OR even considering adopting a child that’s a few years younger than our son.
Has anyone else experienced this? How long did you wait? Is it easier to get pregnant with a second child?
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Whenever had a second child in part because of this very question. In other words, I personally, was overthinking it. Ultimately I decided that I wanted to funnel all of my energy into only one child, much to my wife's chagrin, but I think it was the right decision for us. And that's my overall point, is don't overthink it too much. If you want another kid, the timing will present itself however it presents itself. Even if you planned your second kid's birth down to the minute to coincide with whatever age gap you think might be best with your first child, life has a way of altering that plan. You are young. Trust me, you will know the right time when it comes.
I think the appropriate age gap is a relative thing. It depends on many factors including your physical readiness, family support system, financial resources etc.
My kids were 3 years apart but they get along very well. I think it was mainly because my elder one was a peaceful and caring child.
I was in my late 20s when I got pregnant, yet I had to endure many physical complications. Health risks increase with your age. I will suggest you to consult your doctor before planning for next baby.
Adoption might also be a very good option but you should try to involve your child in this decision. After all he has to take up the responsibility of being an elder sibling
Best wishes for your family.
If you feel like you are not overwhelmed at present, go ahead and start planning for a second child as soon as possible. Unfortunately, it gets harder to conceive as you age, and health risks increase. So time is not in your corner. My children were 11 months apart, and I found it to be perfect timing. Although the wait time between children was quick, I found it convenient to have both girls on the same page regarding needs and development. And it was super convenient to hand down clothing and toys from one child to the next. They were great playmates and continue to be best friends to this day.
My boyfriend and I aren't married and we got pregnant mid-pandemic. I'm 21, he's 30 and works full time so I never see him.
I think for a lot of younger moms who are struggling without childcare amid the childcare shortage in the pandemic, it is NOT the time to have another baby. I can barely keep my days straight as is. I can't even think about having another mouth to feed right now or temper to deal with or behavior to correct. My kids will probably be so far apart in age that my son will most likely be my next kid's babysitter lol.
There are so many different factors that go into it but considering that your son is a little older, he would probably welcome a new sibling a little easier. Whether you decide to conceive or adopt, you might consider sitting down with your son and even giving him a chance to offer some input into the decision. Who knows, maybe he would enjoy being included and feel like he should help with the extra responsibility.
My kids are 5 years apart and they are constantly on each other's heels. However, I have friends who also have kids who are 6 years apart and 4 years apart whose kids don't fight or squabble like mine do. So, I think it might really come down to the kid's personalities and how willing they are to get along.